By Matt Evans

There are some things I've wrestled with over the yrs, I've been aware that God's heart is to impact this world, but also that he wants all fruitfulness to come from intimacy, as Heidi Baker would put it. Looking for the balance between those aspects of our call has driven me to re-examine some core elements of what is called the christian life.

I remember the days when I sat under/was influenced by teaching which centralized such messages as, "The Lord is not willing that any should perish... we've been given the great commission to go and preach the gospel to all the world... the way to please God is to fulfill your destiny of saving the lost and building the church... having a successful ministry through favor with God and man..." There are truths IN those things, but one foundational problem; many of us learned to attempt to please God by laboring for him, even when that mentality of performance opposes the most basic message of the gospel. We thought that we would be successful christians when we had a mega-popular ministry, or when we were slaving away to do all the "right" things to save the world and please the church. Whatever happened to the foundation of repentance from our own works and faith towards God? In reality he doesn't call us to perform and achieve and suffer for him, not from that focus anyway. He simply calls us to labor to enter into his rest.

Meditate on this one: If we never did another work for the kingdom of preaching or evangelistic ministry or intercession or toilet scrubbing or anything else, but only learned to believe in his love for us a little bit more, God would be more pleased with that. Much more. If we enter his rest he can work in us and through us, but it is the rest that matters to God first, not the performance. He's looking for those who will believe the good news of entering his rest. He finished the works Himself.

I remember a time when I felt burdened to pray and receive love from God, even turning that into a performance. I told him "I really don't want to sit here and do this right now, I want to do something more exciting, but here I am, show me your love." I saw the Father bow down to kiss me on the head and then he urged me on gently, telling me to go and play.

There is a lot in scripture about God having ordained works for us to do, and rewards based on our works, but I gather that he wants our works to be an overflow of playfulness, not a messiah complex where we feel like we need to do it ourselves.

There is a passage in John 5 where Jesus says that he only does what he sees the Father doing, that the Father loves the Son and shows him all things that he himself does, and will show him greater works than these, even to the raising of the dead. This has been taught as a key to Spirit-led ministry, but a downside is that we can take it like, "OK, I've got to go out and see and hear what the Father is showing me so that I can move in the miraculous to save the world to please God."

The greek word for love in this passage is not agape (self-sacrificing, unconditional love) but phileo. (brotherly affection) The Father gives brotherly affection to the Son and shows him all things that he himself does... This points to a relationship centered on companionship and displays of affection, not a relationship of distant love and sacrifice. That means it is all about having fun. As we receive God's affection and desire to return a response of affection to him, we are led into what he wants to do through our lives. He can do greater works while playing with his children than we can do in our serious messiah complex. Really, there isn't any other solution to the deepest problems in this screwed up world but this one that God has ordained: playful children. Jesus modeled that and he said that he is the only way. It's so easy to get scared that it won't work and to try and make up our own way instead.

Suddenly, absolute surrender seems a lot more doable. I don't have to surrender to a life of grueling performance, where I'm going to be fasting 40 days a week, interceding in tongues 5hrs every morning, working my butt off all day and coming home to get a quick meal before going out (wait, I don't get a meal because I'm fasting 40 days a week) to preach on the streets every afternoon so that if I'm really good and somebody in power really likes me I can be a missionary to Africa someday. I get to surrender to a life of playfulness and affection. Where I am even empowered to obedience by the grace that flows from Jesus victory on the cross as I rely on him. It doesn't matter whether anybody ever thinks I'm a good christian or not. I only have to do what I see my Father doing in our exchange of affection. Ultimately, he alone will judge me based on whether or not I believed and entered his rest.

This Will Set You Free